My latest book,
Taming the Green Gremlin: Understanding Envy and Reclaiming Joy
A guide to confronting envy, reclaiming your joy, and freeing yourself from the trap of comparison—without shame.
You’ve spent years pretending you weren’t bothered. Smiling through the sting of someone else’s success. Silently tallying wins and losses like your worth depended on keeping score. Convincing yourself you didn’t really want what they had—while quietly wondering if you were falling behind.
But here’s the truth: No amount of comparison will make your path clearer. No amount of silent resentment will bring you closer to your joy. And no amount of self-judgment will ever unlock the version of your life you’re longing for.
Envy isn’t proof that you’re petty—it’s a compass pointing to what matters. This book helps you stop hiding from it, start learning from it, and finally reclaim the energy you’ve been bleeding into everyone else’s highlight reel.
“Envy is one of those emotions that hijacks your brain, rewires your thought process, and convinces you that whatever absurd reaction you’re about to have is completely rational. It’s like handing the wheel of your mental state to an intoxicated raccoon—it makes a mess, chews up your dignity, and leaves you wondering how things spiraled so fast.”
-Alexandra Gulbis, LCSW
Taming the Green Gremlin: Understanding Envy and Reclaiming Joy
Taming the Green Gremlin is for anyone who’s ever compared, spiraled, or silently seethed while pretending to be “totally fine.” It’s for those who smile through the sting, scroll themselves into a shame spiral, and wonder why other people’s joy feels like a threat.
This book is for the quietly resentful, the secretly bitter, the emotionally fried. Not because you’re mean or petty—but because you’re human. And because no one ever taught you what to do with envy except suppress it, shame it, or project it sideways onto someone’s Instagram engagement announcement.
Through brutally honest, refreshingly compassionate guidance, Alexandra Gulbis, LCSW, helps you name, normalize, and neutralize envy—so it stops hijacking your joy and starts pointing you toward your desires. She teaches you how to:
Spot the sneaky ways envy disguises itself—as judgment, comparison, self-deprecation, or performative "not caring."
Understand the root of jealousy—and why it often has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with your own fear of loss or not-enoughness.
Break free from the myth of scarcity—so you stop seeing life as a competition and start seeing it as an unfolding path uniquely your own.
Disarm the comparison trap—by shifting from envy-as-poison to envy-as-compass.
Interrupt shame spirals and resentment loops—so you can return to your life with clarity, presence, and a little more grace for yourself.
Each chapter of Taming the Green Gremlin doesn’t just name what’s hurting—you get tools. And laughter. And maybe a little side-eye for your worst habits (lovingly, of course). At the end of every section, you’ll find journaling prompts that help you:
Decode your envy—What is it pointing you toward? What hunger have you been denying?
Reclaim your attention—So your energy isn’t wasted monitoring someone else’s lane instead of tending your own.
Rewrite your stories—especially the ones that say you’re behind, not enough, or somehow losing.
Because taming envy isn’t about pretending to be above it. It’s about dragging that gremlin into the light, handing it a snack, and saying: “You don’t get to drive anymore—but I’ll listen to what you’re trying to tell me.”
So grab your journal. Cancel the late-night scroll. And start the work of reclaiming your joy.
Selected Excerpts
On the Truth About Envy
“Envy doesn’t make you evil. It makes you honest—if you’re willing to listen. It’s not just a petty emotion to be ashamed of. It’s a signal. A flare. A sometimes-awkward, often-unwelcome messenger carrying a very specific truth: ‘There’s something here you want. Pay attention.’”
On Social Media and Comparison
“You can’t build a life you love while obsessing over someone else’s highlight reel. If your peace evaporates every time you open your phone, it’s not because you’re behind—it’s because you’re bleeding energy into a fantasy someone else is curating. Envy thrives in the scroll. Put the phone down. Come back to your own damn life.”
On the Ridiculousness of Jealous Spirals
“Envy is like handing your emotional steering wheel to a caffeinated raccoon. Suddenly you’re doom-scrolling your ex’s new girlfriend’s dog’s Instagram and somehow using that as proof that your entire life is a disaster. Your logic didn’t just leave the chat—it booked a one-way flight out of town.”